Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I' mostly sincere with people, because that's the way to true relationships. But sometimes I must lie, and the disconcerting thing about it is how good I am at it. People tend to believe me for some reason or other.

I don't like lying, it's useless and gets you nowhere. The more lies you tell the deeper you sink into your own quicksand.

In quite the same way sincerity can hurt people as they don't know all that's going on around them and some things might hurt them. Sometimes they might feel wounded by a sincere and well meaning criticism, sometimes your feelings might hurt them even though they are true. Sometimes the look in their eyes afterwards will pain you, but some times it's the right thing to do.

So here it is that we come to the "little while lies" as they call them. Lies we tell to shield others. To prevent any pain to them, to help them live happily, in their own little world. Twist their perceptions so they keep deceiving themselves just as you deceived them. Twist their world out of balance and cause more suffering than you prevented in the first place. Keep on telling them they're beautiful, they're incredible, one of a kind, even though you yourself see them as completely average or even worse. Keep lying to them and showing them how you care about them. The wrong way.

I have made amazing mistakes in my life, but none have been as strong in their backlash as lies. Nothing else hurts as much as lies do. And the worst lies of all are the ones you tell yourself. The ones that you deceive yourself with. The ones that make you happy for a time, before they plunge you deeper and deeper into despair.

So what to do? Lie or be sincere?

I've come a long way
Seen better days
wanted to change the world
wanted to play the game.

Lie now and lie again
I dig my grave
and loose my way
in the day or in the night
all that remains
is a heart too tight.

I try to escape
I try to flee
but my own lies
are binding me.

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