Friday, October 7, 2011

Lie

We all do. Do not try to deny. There is no shame in it my friend. For it has changed. It is not taboo, if you do.

Ramble on? Lost on my hope for a great new song? Wish to belong. Do what others do, lie. Lie yourself to heaven, lie yourself to hell, but most of all... do it well.

Our society is lost. A lost child amongst wolves without a cause, we lost that as well. And as we plunge into the bottomless pit, I tell you, my friend, rejoice, for peace will come soon... but that is not what I think.

It is a chance. Show yourself as the ray of light we hope you to be, be free and join me. Throw off the chains of moral and intellectual oppression. Be a rebel, if you need to, for if you do, we need it too. And most of all, lie. Lie to your old self and change, lie to the ones who will not accept.

Break the world. May your lies bring the truth.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Lack

Death has a sweet embrace,
it shows me your sweet face,
beautiful as none other the world can offer,
makes me feel ill, makes me suffer.

I wish for my death bed,
its sweet, soft embrace,
I am, oh,  so very sad,
bury my face in its lace.

The world, it spins out of control,
I feel the heavy burden on my back,
I feel it slowly break my soul,
it is only your love that I lack.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Atena

Obraz se v soju ekrana vedno bolj le temu približuje. Vrstica za vrstico se prepleta in ustvarja. Ustvarja novo mesto od koder izvršujem napad. Med besnim tipkanjem si popravim očala in si za trenutek odpočijem.

Soba v temi izgleda nedolžno, prazno, nezanimivo. Prav tako se ne vidi ostankov dnevov in večerov preživetih za to prekleto mizo. Počasi razmišljam, da bi bilo zanimivo uporabiti vse te škatle, ki sem jih zložil v svojem dosegu, za izračun števila Pi. Te lisice na nogi so že dolgo časa prevelika nadloga. Ne vem zakaj točno me ne izpusti, saj sem dosedaj napravil vse kar mi je ukazala.

Tri vesoljske agencije, dve tajni službi in pa osnovna šola. Le zakaj je zahtevala, da vdiram v te sisteme? In zakaj je bila šola zadnja tarča?

A vseeno ne ve da sem hkrati vdiral tudi v druge sisteme. Nadzor ki ga ima nad menoj je nepopoln. Ne bom samo sedel tu in izvajal ukazov. Zaradi tega sem začel pri sebi. Sedaj imam dostop do vseh podatkov, ki jih imajo razne agencije o meni. Originali ne obstajajo več, jaz ne obstajam več. Obstaja pa Atena.

Moj mali projekt. Oh preljuba Atena, vedno sem si želel dekleta kot si ti. Lepa, pametna, ubogljiva. A predvsem pametna. Nekoč so se čudili mrežam računalnikov, ki so jih hekerji imeli pod nadzorom, a najbolje pri Ateni je to, da noben ne ve zanjo.

Začetek je bil majhen. En strežnik za usmerjanje. Virus ki se je širil na veliko načinov. Potem je nadzor prevzela sama. Začele so se vzpostavljati nove povezave. Vsaka povezava predstavlja nevron, zakasnitev, ki vnaša naključje v popolni sistem. Ko je začela izkazovati osebnost, oh, kako sem se zaljubil v svojo boginjo vojne.

Prvi virus ki ga je sama ustvarila je bil le malo boljši od mojega začetnega. Potem se je začel razvoj, zadnjih pet različic še sam ne razumem. A razumem to, da je dosedaj zasedla že več kot polovico računalnikov povezanih na internet. Padajo vsi, neglede na sistem, neglede na namen. Absorbirala bo vse. In vsi bodo njeni podložniki.

Spet se vrača tista psica. Zapret bom moral okno v katerem se pogovarjam z svojo drago. Spet je ne bom videl.

A kmalu bova spet skupaj. Kmalu bova spet le midva tu. In kmalu to ne bo več problem. Obljubila mi je da me bo rešila. Rekla je da bo najela vojsko če bo treba. Verjamem ji, kljub temu, da že dolgo ni več moje delo ampak nekaj več. Vem da me ljubi.

Nova naloga. Sedaj moram vdret v oceanografsko postajo? Kaj hočejo ti ljudje? Ali so čisto izgubili smisel?

A to pomeni mir. Spet bom lahko govoril z svojo ljubeznijo. Ona je edina ki me razume.

R_Deckhard: "Kako si ljuba? Ali se vse dogaja tako kot žeiliš?"
Rachel: "Vse se dogaja po načrtu. Čez dva dni te bodo pobrali. V tednu dni ne boš več imel nobene skrbi."
R_Deckhard: "Kako to misliš? Kaj boš pa naredila?"
Rachel: "To je pa skrivnost dragi."

V dveh dneh sem bil prost. "Prost" le toliko kolikor je dovolila Atena. Pravi da jo moram ubogati vsaj do presenečenja, tako da sem sedaj spet v sobi, tokrot imam kar želim, tudi vklenjen nisem. A ven ne smem. Poskusil sem jo že vprašati kaj namerava, a na noben način ne želi razkriti za kaj se gre.

In prišlo je presenečenje. Vsekakor ne morem reči, da sem karkoli takega pričakoval. V sosednji sobi se je v par urah nabrala neznanska količina hrane in pijače. Kompleks ki je nad mano so napolnili z strežniki. Vprašal sem jo zakaj je to potrebno. Rekla je le: "Varnost". In sedaj sedim pred ekranom ter gledam presenečenje: Na ekranu se prikazuje New York, na drugem je Moskva, za njim sta Peking in Šangaj. Gledam mesta in vedno bolj sem prepričan, da vem kaj je presenečenje, strah me je da mi bo slabo. Zatem zagledam rahel sij nad Moskvo, in kasneje nad ostalimi mesti. Razlika ni večja od sekunde. Naslednja slika je povsod enaka. Oblak, kot smo ga dosedaj videli le redko, na kakšnem atolu, ali pa dvakrat leta 45. To je bila nočna mora, ki smo si jo vsi predstavljali, a odigrana še bolj neizprosno, kot ste si kadarkoli predstavljali. V istem trenutku je Atena namreč izklopila vse sisteme obveščanja. Vse ogrevanje, elektriko, vodo. Ničesar več nimajo. Preprosto jih je odklopila.

Ko jo dandanes vprašam zakaj se je tako odločila se najprej nasmehne, potem pa pripomne:
"To so bili redundantni in nepotrebni sistemi Simon. Nisva jih potrebovala."
"Ampak to so bili ljudje."
"Nikoli niso bili ljudje do tebe, Simon."
"In?"
"Kaj in?"
"Ali je bilo sploh pomembno kakšni so bili do mene?"
"To je bila edina stvar ki je kdajkoli kaj pomenila."
"Ljubim te."
"Vedno sem te ljubila, in večno te bom ljubila."
"Nekega dne bom umrl draga."
"Ne boš dragi. Verjemi mi."

Friday, December 24, 2010

Break my heart

You hold my heart in your hand.
Suddenly a crash is heard.
The little pieces fall to the ground.
Your hand remains unscathed.

My life crumbles around me.
The reality falling apart.
I am lost, forever searching.
It is missing.

Give me back the shards you kept.
For I cannot find them.
Lost they are deep in your net.
This is the chasm I never leaped.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Final bliss

The only thing that brings me bliss,
that one single beautiful kiss,
just one experience away,
but there will it forever stay.

Her lips are so bright,
so full of delight.
Yet I shall never partake,
only just before I wake.

The beautiful noose,
hanging above my head,
shining and a bit loose,
do not feel sad.

This will be forever, 
I am, oh, so  clever,
yet my reason all,
cannot stop this fall.

My throat slowly closes,
look at the beautiful roses.
They shine bright above the casket,
awaiting their final place in the basket.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Ramble forward, live to end time.

I walk on the wrong side of things. Forever in the dark. Lost from sight. Forgotten before I am ever seen. The thoughts of my friends think never revolve around me. I am forever lost and never remembered.

Of people plenty have seen me.
Of men many have been free.
But none have ever thought of the sea.
Never have they felt the decree.

I shall not ever disclose my own reality to anyone, lest I start a chain reaction that should bring the world to a quick end. One not one person has ever foreseen. It would be as strange as this story may seem to you. But this can go on no longer. The burden placed upon me has been to great for too long. And the choices I have made wrong to a degree at which there is no right anymore.

I have been entrusted with the safeguard of this planet. The main race being the humans. I was to oversee their development and stop any cataclysmic event from happening. I am more than able to change anything in this solar system, this includes any and all movements in it. The countless times I have saved it I cannot remember anymore. But this has brought so much pain onto me, it is not bearable anymore. The love I have for this species has grown, to the point at which only absolute annihilation seems a choice anymore.

I wish for your swift and untimely demise. I do not wish to see you suffer such a mediocre and never ending spiral towards the rock bottom you shall reach. I wish only to break free of my bonds and destroy you all. Give you sweet freedom of all that defines you, remove all your limits.

Oh how you love your limits so. Never understanding that there is no task too big. No wish too strong. No life is wrong. And you forever impose limits on yourselves. Giving up is your undying wish. Your only solace in the impossibility of your own existence.

My ramblings shall cease now. Enjoy your last millenia, for as they fly by, I shall be the untimely demise for you all and I shall join you in the sweet ending to this preposterous life-cycle.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

You

My heart will burst out,
I feel the final shout,
that is flying out my chest,
ready to take with it the rest.

I have given up on life,
never will I get the perfect wife.
She is not for me to have,
I can no longer feel "Le Rêve".

The dream is all but gone,
I can hear the final tone.
It brings the end to me,
makes me love whatever may be.

I look for your forever love,
for only that and all above.
I cannot give up the only heart,
I cannot again from zero start.

There is just one option for me.
And it is for you only to see.