Cowardice

She stepped into the room.
He stared, transfixed, lost in the eyes of the beauty before his life.
Lost for all he looked and looked, but dared not see, dared not speak, afraid to end up looking like a freak.

I was always afraid of it. Not talking to them, I can manage that. I was always afraid of trying to ask them out. I keep blaming low self esteem. I keep saying I'm not good looking enough (hey, I might even be right about that, but who knows). But looks ain't everything. Then I think I may be boring, she may not like my thoughts, she might not like my personality.

I always end up shutting up. Not saying it. Well not always... most of the time. There have been times I talked to girls about such stuff of course (having had girlfriends there was no other way anyway). But it's always been a strange moment that made me do it.

I see her, in all her beauty. My mind strays, I feel the bliss coming on, I can feel myself drifting. Losing it. I'm not there anymore. I'm lost, she has me and there's nothing else to do. I can only give in and disappear into myself. My tongue dries up. I forget how to speak. I just want the moment to last forever. I just wish for the bliss to never end. Take me and let me be there for ever, trapped in it. The moment that gives me all and takes all away.

But that gives me nothing. The moment ends, the bliss stays. She moves away. I want it again, but the coward in me says: "Keep the memory, don't destroy it". And I do. I stay. I keep the memory. And remain a coward.

But I say NAY! Times are a changing. And I should be changing too. Move on. Never stay in the same place. Change like you have changed before.

He wished for them to see
the change coming up in me
here comes the tree
blooming for everyone.

The flowers give up
the life we wait for
loving them to death
we go with the rain.